The Christmas Conspiracy

Happy Halloween! Enjoy it while you can, because it's already gone. And it won't be back either.

My fiancée and I have been commiserating on the sad state of Halloween at our places of work. She, an elementary school teacher, has been told to not to wear any Halloween related clothing or costumes and to prepare a lesson plan to celebrate "Multicultural Day." I don't know about you, but I just can't contain my excitement at the thought of celebrating "Multicultural Day." As my she points out, "Why celebrate our own traditions when we can celebrate everyone else's?"

As a corporate drone, I used to enjoy the annual costume contest sponsored by the company, whereas this year it is noticeably absent. There is a total of one person in costume within eyesight, and he went through the painstaking process of putting on a funny hat. He's a rebel.

I'm pretty sure there is an insidious plan afoot. Did you notice the Christmas lights going up prior to Thanksgiving last year? The marketing people for Christmas have clearly decided that now that they've blown past Thanksgiving, it's time to attack the next holiday in line: Halloween. In just a few short years, July 4th red, white and blue will be replaced with green and red, with flaming Christmas trees being launched skyward. You read it here first.

I used to think the neighbors were Whiskey Tango for leaving their lights up all year; now I know that they were just ahead of their time.