I hate people. This is no secret. I especially hated several people at the San Diego Zoo on Sunday.

While viewing the hippos, you may choose one of two bi-level paths. The back path is a bit more raised so that you can see over the people that have chosen the front path. We chose the back path because the front path was crowded.

Person #1: Turns around to see if anyone is standing behind her. She sees me, and looks directly at my two year old son. Despite this, she steps up onto a bench so now she is directly blocking all of our views.

Since I’m in touch with my inner asshole, I loudly pronounce to the kids that we should move down “where we can see past the rude people.” She looked back as if I were the rude one for calling her rude.

Man, it really should be legal to punch someone in the face when they act like an imbecile.


A punch in the face to solve stupidity


So, the kids and make our way to the other side of the hippo enclosure, and come down to the front path to sit on a bench and watch the hippos play in the water.

Person #2: She begins to incessantly talk in a baby voice that “they love each other” and “they are playing with each other, awwww.” What’s with the baby voice?

Again, this merits a punch in the face.